Its taken a while but i realize a lot of things and im brave enough to admit them now
Its been a rough road darling but im starting to move with the curves rather than against them
I was so heart broken being left alone
but i’ve been thinking back
and also looking back on old posts has opened my eyes
i’ve seen that i wasnt happy even when he was here
i was drowning in insecurities and negativity ruled my life
i was allowing myself to rely on someone else for my happiness
and that was selfish and foolish of me
i had dreams before him and i rerouted those when he came
i planned everything around him
making him the center of my goals
it was unhealthy and unfair to both of us
i leaned on him for more than i ever wanted to
i used to pride myself in how strong i am
and i let myself fall into dependance
now im not saying i never loved him
in fact im still quite stuck in love with him
but its getting easier and im doing my best to move on
im such a mess anyways that it would be extremely unfair to let someone else into my life
but i’ve come to conclusion that i can do better for myself
i’ve found myself again
although i am still insecure and i dont like being alone
i accept these flaws and i dont let them hold me down
im doing my best to find the positive in every situation and you’d be amazed how much more beautiful life has become for me
the cliche is true
when one door closes another open
i’ve been reunited with old friends
they keep me accountable
they encourage and love me
my Jair bear is coming soon so i’ll be too busy loving him to love anyone else :P
and my music and makeup and career
its getting tough but it makes me think something amazing is coming
God has been blessing me more than i could ever imagine
he’s my sanity
my strength
Oh love <3